


I'd Love To Break It To You

by psychoticfire



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, evan's pretty fucking brutal but honestly he's just got self esteem issues, i don't even know anymore okay just take it, inspired by a work of some really cool people, its boyf and kleinsen, jared has weird ideas, jeremy's a confused bi, michael is a jealous gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 23:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16376774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoticfire/pseuds/psychoticfire
Summary: Jared and Jeremy plot up a plan to get their respective best friends and crushes to finally ask them out. It's not a good plan, but it's the best they've got. Although, they never expected it to gothiswell. Meanwhile, Evan and Michael suffer through the infamous My Crush Is Dense And Also Hot But Mostly Dense Syndrome.





	I'd Love To Break It To You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jealous?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917902) by [ironspydr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr), [UnfortunatelySux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux). 



> so,, this was inspired by a work called 'Jealous?' by two people that you may or may not have heard of- UnfortunatelySux and thesaltydragon  
> ,,, they're pretty well known around these parts
> 
> anyway, they're cool and pretty fucking hilarious
> 
> so yeah. inspired work.  
> enjoy my suffering over how to write dnd game sessions while never having played one, and basing most of my stuff off what ren and elliot recounted, which in retrospect might not have been accurate,,, at all

"Look," Jeremy said, lying down on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. "We tried things your way-"  
  
Jared snorted, standing up from his seat at Jeremy's desk and walking over to his friend, grabbing a pillow and throwing it onto Jeremy's face. "No, we didn't," he said over the other's indignant splutters.  
  
Jeremy threw the pillow at Jared. "I tried it in my head and it didn't work. Douche."  
  
"Your head is filled with porn. Nothing works in there. Except maybe your dick."  
  
"You're the dick," Jeremy said lamely, sitting up and leaning against the bedpost.  
  
"You are what you eat."  
  
"Huge, unbelievable dick," Jeremy mumbled.  
  
"Besides, why wouldn't it work?" Jared continued, ignoring Jeremy's endless tirade of insults concerning the type of dick Jared was. "We pretend we're dating each other. Mike and Ev both get jealous. We both get our dream dudes. It's a win-win."  
  
"First off, shockingly annoying dick," Jeremy said, pointing at Jared.  
  
"This is slander," Jared protested.  
  
"Second of all, don't call Michael 'Mike'. Only I get to call him nicknames. And I usually use 'Micah' anyway."  
  
"Gay," Jared mumbled.  
  
"Third, why would Michael get jealous? I mean, sure- Evan would. He's clearly gay for you-"  
  
"Bi," Jared corrected. "I mean- no. He's bisexual, but he's probably not attracted to me. Almost definitely."  
  
"You don't believe that," Jeremy argued. "Anyway- Michael isn't gay for me. I'd be glad to help you get your 'dream dude', Jare, but you'd owe me a pizza. If this even works."  
  
"It'll work," Jared said, with too much confidence. "For you and Michael. And, if the stars are in alignment, me and Evan. Get the dream dudes."  
  
"The term 'dream dudes' is cancelled for you."  
  
"C'mon Jeremy," Jared complained. "Live a little! Take risks! Live your life! Get the dream dude!"  
  
"The word 'no' is a magical word, Jared," Jeremy said. "Here's how you use it. For example, you go, 'Hey Jeremy, do you want to help me with this unbelievably stupid plan involving our dream dudes?' And I go, 'Why, no'."  
  
"Don't you quote Simon Lewis at me," Jared muttered.  
  
"The fact that you recognize the quote is a miracle in and of itself," Jeremy replied. "Also, it proves your gayness."  
  
"You read the books too!"  
  
"I'm bi!"  
  
Jared sighed. "Are you in or not?"  
  
Jeremy flopped back down on the bed, resuming his lying position, this time facedown. "I'll think about it," he said into the mattress, his voice muffled.  
  
Leaning over, Jared flicked Jeremy's ear. "I'll buy you pizza too."  
  
Jeremy groaned, lifting his face up. He met Jared's eyes, and sighed. "Fine."  
  
-  
  
Jared and Jeremy spent the rest of the afternoon laying out their plan. Invite Evan and Michael over to Jeremy's, order pizza (courtesy of Jared), and... well, do what they'd do and hope they wouldn't fuck it up.  
  
Sadly, that seemed to be all there was to the plan.  
  
After Jared left Jeremy's place, the blonde teenager tried to sleep. They'd arranged the hangout thing for tomorrow, and the building anxiety in Jeremy's gut wasn't helping the non-existent beckoning of sleep.  
  
A few minutes, hours later, Jeremy sighed and sat up, reaching for his phone. He texted Jared, first.

_blond bi: so we're really doing this rigjt_ _  
_

Jeremy snorted at the sight of his nickname in Jared's chat. He doubted the other was still awake, but it was worth a try. Jeremy's next instinct was, naturally, Michael.

_player 2: micah u awake?_ _  
_

A notification pinged. It was Jared, to Jeremy's surprise.

_insanelygay: yea dude_

_insanelygay: we gettin you some of that mell dick_

Jeremy sighed.

_blond bi: like you’re not excited for hansen ass_

Cringing, Jeremy checked his messages with Michael. His friend had replied- which was no big surprise, seeing as it was Saturday night, and that Michael was prone to staying up late.

_player 1: Obviously not_

_player 1: What’s up Jere_

_player 2: your dick_

Jeremy immediately regretted sending that message. Damnit, Jared!

_player 1: How’d you guess_

Choking on his spit, Jeremy managed a quick reply.

_player 2: lkgsdhlka idk wyh i sent that jared was texting me and he probably infected me with Kleinsen Disease(tm)_

_player 2: i’d say tmi but it’s my fault anyway askhdlgs_

New text from Jared. Jeremy navigated over to the other chatroom.

_insanelygay: u bet I am_

_insanelygay: u tell michael to come over yet?_

_blond bi: uh no_

_blond bi: i’ll tell him now_

_blond bi: you tell ev?_

_insanelygay: he goes to sleep at about 8 so i’ll ask him tomorrow morning_

Jeremy checked the time. Ten PM- wasn’t as bad as he expected. No wonder Jared and Michael was still awake.

_blond bi: ok_

Speaking of Michael-

_player 1: You walked straight into that_

_player 1: Well_

_player 1: You walked right bi the defenses_

_player 1: I’m not good with puns. I’m gay_

_player 1: Jeremy? You there? Or did you throw your phone into a river as soon as you replied_

_player 2: sORRY_

_player 1: Texting your secret girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Not judging. I’m gay_

_player 1: If you landed Christine w/o me knowing, you’re in for it_

Jeremy debated how to answer. After all, their plan _was_ to…

_player 2: ;)_

God _damnit_ , Jeremy.

_player 1: OH????_

_player 2: sgdhjksgha nah ofc i haven’t landed christine_

_player 1: bUT SOMEONE ELSE??????_

_player 2: …_

_player 2: i will say that an attraction exists_

Jeremy hesitated before sending his message, but did anyway. Go big or go home, right?

_player 1: And you’re not going to tell me._

_player 1: This is a betrayal, Jere_

_player 2: i’m sORRY_

_player 2: also, wanna come over to hang tomorrow? we’ll have pizza_

_player 1: ‘We’?_

_player 2: yeah, jared and ev’s gonna be there_

_player 1: Cool. Sure_

Jeremy frowned at his phone. That seemed a bit distant- maybe he was just reading too deeply into his friend’s texts.

_player 2: we can do a dnd game or something_

_player 1: Oh yeah, haven’t done one of those in a while_

_player 1: Definitely. I’ll be there_

_player 1: Mostly for the free pizza_

_player 2: yeah, jare’s buying_

_player 1: You two have been hanging out a lot, huh_

Jeremy blinked.

_player 2: uh.. not more than usual? we WERE grouped for a project tho so maybe, yeah_

_player 1: Cool_

_player 1: So Evan’s gonna be there?_

_player 2: yep_

_player 1: Rad. I’ll bring drinks. Slushies and sushi, bitch_

_player 2: can’t wait, jerk_

_player 1: …_

_player 1: You just Supernatural’d me_

_player 2: yeet_

_player 1: Please never say ‘yeet’ ever again_

_player 2: damn_

Jeremy put his phone down. He closed his eyes in a futile attempt to sleep, and hoped to god that Jared had _some_ common sense in him for him to pull this plan out of his head.

-

“Jeremy Heere, my boyf,” Jared announced as soon as he stepped into Jeremy’s house. “How’s it going? You ready for this?”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “No one’s here yet, Jare. Please don’t call me your boyf.” He never should have told his friend about Rich’s pranks.

“Fine. But until your ‘riends’ comes along, I’m going to need to at least _pretend_ to be your boyfriend. At the _very_ least, sweet Jeremiah, we’re gonna have to act lovey-dovey.” Jared shrugged off his jacket, throwing it onto the back of a chair.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” Jeremy muttered. Then, “Lovey-dovey?” he demanded. “We’re supposed to act cuddly and stuff?”

“Nothing you haven’t done with Mell before,” Jared replied. “I’m shocked that you two aren’t _actively_ dating. You two-” he went over and poked Jeremy on the nose, “are more touchy-feely than any other openly heterosexual puppy-love couple I’ve ever seen.”

Jeremy batted his hand away. “Bite me.”

“I’ll leave that to Michael.”

Jeremy barely refrained from grabbing the nearest plate and forcefully slamming it into Jared’s smug, teasing face.

“You know, if we really wanted to convince them…” Jared started to say, and Jeremy bit his lip.

“Yeah?”

“I could give you a hickey.”

“And,” Jeremy announced, “We’ll stop there.”

“Okay,” Jared agreed.

They spent the next ten minutes finishing their Dungeons and Dragons setup, complete with Doritos from Jeremy’s stash of junk food. A few minutes later, Jeremy got a text from Michael.

_player 1: On my way. I picked up Ev. Getting sushi and slushies_

_player 2: awesome. jare and i are setting up the dnd shit_

_player 2: we have doritos_

_player 1: Can’t wait_

Jared glanced at Jeremy as the latter slumped back onto the sofa. “Lover boy coming soon?”

“Yours or mine?” Jeremy joked, but sat up a bit. “Yeah. Both of them. Are, um, on their way.”

Jared nodded. He stood up from where he’d been sitting down on the floor, and sat down next to Jeremy. “Michael has a key to your place, right?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, then paused. “Not a word.”

Jared, who’d been grinning like the devil, now pouted. “Not even a syllable-”

“No.”

“A detailed analogy-”

“Jared.”

“A poetic metaphor-”

“JARED KLEINMAN.”

“- about how you and Mell are literally fucking _married_.”

“I’m breaking up with you, fake boyfriend,” Jeremy mumbled.

"You wouldn’t dare.“

“Give me one reason as to why not I should fake-breakup with you, my fake boyfriend.”

“You need me to snatch Michael.”

Jeremy made a face. “That makes it sound weird.”

“And I need you to help me snatch some Hansen ass.”

Jeremy shoved Jared off the couch.

“I’m not _wrong-”_ Jared started to say, when the doorbell rang. Swiftly, he stood up and sat back down on the couch, next to Jeremy, and scooted closer to the other boy. “Fuck. Okay. Just do as I do. Go with the flow.”

“Wha-”

The doorbell rang again, and Jeremy’s head snapped up. “Michael?” he called.

“No, it’s your booty call,” Michael yelled from outside the door, and Jeremy heard Evan laugh. “Scratch that, your booty _calls._ ”

“Let yourself in,” Jared said loudly, and after a few moments, they heard a key rattle in the door. Jared hurriedly put an arm over Jeremy’s shoulders, pulling the two of them closer. Jeremy raised an eyebrow in surprise. _Go big or go home. Damn, I hate that sentence._

“Act distracted,” Jared mumbled to Jeremy. “With me. You’re infatuated with me.”

“You owe me,” Jeremy muttered back, shifting in his seat. “Is this really necessary?”

“Theatre geek, I swear to god, just do it-”

Jeremy heard the door open, and swallowed hard, pushing back the ball of growing anxiety in his gut. Panicking, he leaned into Jared and hoped to god that Michael wouldn’t be able to hear his heartbeat.

“Yo, Jere, got your slushie.” Jeremy’s heartbeat fucking _sped up_ at the sound of Michael’s voice. It’d been two days since he’d saw him in real life, and in his book, that was _way_ too long. Fuck, he was bi for this boy.

He forced himself to act a bit distant. “Oh,” he mumbled, not looking up. “Uh, can you put it on the table? Thanks.”

Michael entered the living room, Evan following behind, and was about to say something when he caught sight of Jeremy and Jared seemingly _cuddling_ on the couch, the former looking lethargic and peaceful. Involuntarily, Michael frowned. “Alright. Uh- Are we interrupting something?”

Evan looked awkward. Jared lifted his head up from where he was resting it on Jeremy’s head, catching the other boy’s gaze. “Sup, Ev.”

Jeremy hastily sat up, peering over the couch to look at Michael. “N- No, not interruptin-”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Jared interceded loudly, and stood up. He stretched, pretending to ignore Michael’s stunned expression, and leaned down to ruffle Jeremy’s hair. “Anyway. We can get back to that later. Who’s up for some good ol quality nerd time?”

Michael stared at Jeremy. _JARED?_ he hoped his gaze conveyed, but Jeremy only looked away. Michael made a mental note to interrogate his best friend later.

“Su- sure,” Evan said in reply to Jared’s question. “Nerd time. Th- that sounds good. Um, Michael brought sushi.”

“Jared ordered pizza,” Jeremy added. “It’ll probably be here in-”

The doorbell rang, and Jared stood up. “My treat,” he announced with all the enthusiasm of a man being sentenced to death, and shambled over to the front door, hand going to his wallet. Michael took this chance to stride over to Jeremy, grabbing his friend’s arm.

_“Jared?”_ Michael demanded.

Jeremy panicked. “No, I’m Jeremy.” _Fuck!_

“You’re dating Jared Kleinman?” Michael pressed, albeit in a lower voice so Evan wouldn’t overhear. “Jared? Kleinman? Him?”

Jeremy shook his arm free of Michael’s death grip. If he could have yelled keyboard keysmashes of gay distress, he would’ve. Instead, he settled for a mumbled, “No. Maybe?”

Michael gaped at his best friend. “’Maybe’ is not a reassuring answer, Jeremy!”

“I-” Jeremy started to say, but was cut off by Jared returning with a box of pizza balanced in his arms, along with a large bottle of soda. “-am _hungry_ ,” he finished hastily, ignoring Michael’s incredulous glare, “for _pizza.”_

Jared tried hard not to snort as Jeremy awkwardly turned away from Michael and headed for the pizza, which he laid on the table next to Jeremy’s slushie. “How’s it going?” he said under his breath.

Jeremy exhaled. “He thinks we’re dating?”

“That was fast. Good job. Now,” Jared said, increasing his voice in volume, shooting Jeremy a wink as he lifted a slice of pizza out of the box, “open up, Jere.”

Michael raised an eyebrow as he heard his best friend’s nickname, and turned- and froze as he saw Jared Kleinman feed Jeremy Heere a bite of pizza. Jeremy’s eyes widened, but he went along with it, biting off a mouthful of crispy dough and hot cheese.

Wait. Hot cheese.

A bit _too_ hot.

Jeremy felt himself tearing up, and he began to wave his hand over his open mouth. “Fu-” he managed, trying (unsuccessfully) to curse over a mouthful of what felt like molten iron. “Hot- moher _fu-”_

Jared stared at him. “Oh, fuck, right. Fresh-baked pizza.”

Evan snorted. Michael felt like he wanted to laugh, but he was torn between uncontrollable laughter and running over to somehow help Jeremy. Before he made his decision, Jeremy hurriedly chewed the pizza into smaller chunks, and managed to swallow them, only choking slightly.

Jared handed him a plastic cup of ice and soda- how had he managed to do that so fast?- and Jeremy took it thankfully, gulping down a few mouthfuls of iced liquid. After his throat and mouth had cooled, he shot a playful glare at Michael and Evan. “Thanks for the assistance.”

Evan had the sense to look sheepish. “Sorry.”

Michael only winked at Jeremy. “Couldn’t pass down an opportunity to see you choke.” With that, he grabbed a slice of pizza, a cup of soda, and went to sit down on the couch next to Evan while Jeremy stared after him with his eyes wide open.

Jared grinned. “Can I say something?”

Jeremy didn’t look away from Michael’s turned back. “No.”

Jared leaned over and poked Jeremy. “Gay.”

“Bi,” the other corrected, but then frowned. “Wait, no! Sh- shut up!”

Shooting him one last knowing smirk, Jared got himself a slice of pizza and headed over to the couch. Jeremy retrieved the pizza he’d been fed- and which had stabbed him in the back- and, cup of soda in hand, went to join his friends.

“You gonna eat, Ev?” Michael asked, and the other shook his head, taking a seat on the sofa.

“I- nah,” Evan mumbled. “Already ate.”

Jared frowned, leaning forward. “Evan, you have to eat.”

“I- I did!” Evan Hansen was a terrible liar, but Jared knew not to push it. He sat back.

“If you say so,” he said quietly. After a period of awkward silence, Jared (being Jared) broke it- naturally, with an untasteful joke. “So, any of you nerds want to get down and dirty with these orcs?”

And that was how, five minutes later, Jeremy found himself sitting way too close to Jared- which was, of course, the latter’s idea- on the floor, munching on a Dorito and waiting for Michael to continue the game.

“… And then you realize that her eyes are glowing,” Michael announced, and with a jolt Jeremy realized that that was his character facing off against whatever Michael had cooked up. With a grin, Michael continued talking. “You wouldn’t, by any chance, be immune to, um, laser eyes, would you?”

“I’m- is that even in the rulebook?” Jeremy spluttered. “Um. Roll to seduce?”

Jared snorted. “Seduce _me,”_ he muttered quietly, but both Michael and Evan heard it anyway. Evan did a double take, and met Michael’s gaze. Michael gave him a shrug and a look that somehow perfectly conveyed a distressed gay keysmash.

Evan shot him a look of bi confusion back.

Jeremy watched as Michael and Evan seemingly had a silent conversation. Without his best friend’s expressive gaze meeting his, he couldn’t read them. Frowning, he sat back on his heels- the plan wasn’t for Michael and _Evan_ to get together.

“I’m gonna go grab, um, some snacks from the kitchen,” Jeremy said, starting to stand up. He hoped that no one would mention the barely eaten pizza on the table behind them, or the half-finished bag of Doritos next to them. “Jare, could you…”

Jared got the hint. “Need a big, strong guy to help you carry those cookies?”

Jeremy glared at him. “Yes. Sure. Whatever.” With that, he dragged Jared by the hem of his T-shirt out of the living room, way out of earshot of the other two boys, and released him once they reached the kitchen.

“What, planning an impromptu make-out sesh-”

“I think Michael’s into Evan,” Jeremy blurted, cutting Jared off. His friend paused, and stared at him.

“What?”

“They’re making eye contact! Silent conversations!”

“We’ve been _cuddling_. I fed you a bite of pizza,” Jared countered.

“Yeah, ow, by the way.” Jeremy bit his lip. “This isn’t working out.”

Jared was quiet for a moment. “Maybe we have to take more drastic measures.”

_“Drastic measures?”_ Jeremy wasn’t sure if he heard him correctly. “Jare, if you haven’t noticed, this whole thing was a drastic measure.”

“Okay, true,” Jared amended. “More drastic? Drastic-er?”

Jeremy stared at him. “What did you have in mind?”

-

“What the fuck?” Michael whispered to Evan as soon as Jeremy and Jared left.

“Good question,” Evan agreed. “ _What_ the _fuck?”_

“Did you know about this?”

“No! I- no? Is this even a thing? The- the two of them? A thing?”

“Apparently? Maybe?”

“D- did they confirm it?” Evan asked.

“No- not exactly?” Michael thought back. “Not exactly, no. But- but Jeremy was telling me about how he had a crush last night? A- and they were _cuddling_ , Ev!”

“I _saw_ that,” Evan almost yelled, but lowered his voice after a quick glance at where Jeremy and Jared headed. “So- are they dating? Did- Did I miss my chance, or-”

“I think you missed your chance,” Michael said absently, his mind running at a couple thousand miles per second. “And, much more importantly, _I_ missed my chance.”

“Michael!” Evan punched his friend in the shoulder, none too gently.

“Kidding!” Michael yelped.

“We’re in the same gay boat here,” Evan said. “Well, bi for me, but- still!”

Michael thought for a second. “We need a plan.”

“Ya _think?”_

“Confrontation?” Michael tried.

Evan shook his head. “Awkward?”

“True.”

“Do y- You have a crush on Jeremy, right?” Evan asked.

“Was it that obvious,” Michael monotoned, causing a short laugh from the other.

“And I like Jared.”

“Never noticed,” Michael said, in the same flat tone.

Evan swatted his arm, and that’s when Jared and Jeremy walked back in. Jeremy glanced at Evan and Michael, who’d scooted closer together, and swallowed hard.

Jared had come up with a… could you call it a plan B if they were still uncertain whether or not plan A worked or not?- sub-plan, and had promised Jeremy that if everything went to shit, he’d take most of the impact. Which was unnaturally thoughtful of Jared.

Damn, he really was desperate for Evan.

Not that Jeremy was much better off. Looking at the other two boys, he had the urge to leap over and grab Michael, telling Evan to fuck off. But that wasn’t fair.

So Jeremy exhaled and muttered a plea to whoever was listening upstairs that Jared’s plan would work. He brushed a hand through his already messed up hair- before they’d come back in, Jared had ruffled it more, with the reasoning of _“it’ll look like we were making out”-_  and sighed.

Jared plopped down on the ground, retrieving his cup of soda and sipping it, laying back against the couch. He patted the ground next to him, grinning up at Jeremy. “Come and sit, my sweet Jeremiah Heere.”

Michael looked like he was trying really, really hard not to roll his eyes. And like he was restraining himself from pouncing and strangling Jared to death. And kill him again.

Jared counted that as a win.

Jeremy, trying to hide the awkwardness stiffening his limbs, sat down next to Jared, and leaned his head on the other boy’s shoulder. Jared hooked his arm under Jeremy’s shoulders and pulled him closer, not taking his hand off of the blond.

Michael and Evan watched all this, and came to the collective agreement of individually slaughtering their collective best friends.

“Where were we in the game?” Jeremy asked Michael innocently.

“You were about to get absolutely wrecked by a changeling,” Michael muttered, shuffling through his notes. “I was about to slaughter the only other person in this room with glasses on. Other than that, nothing much.”

Jared touched the rim of his glasses self-consciously.

“Right,” Jeremy said, awkwardly. “Roll to, uh, seduce?”

“Rolled a four. You-” Michael pushed his glasses up and squinted at the paper. “Oh, boy, I don’t think you want to know what you did.”

“I’ll take your word on that,” Jeremy agreed.

Jared tapped his side subtly, and Jeremy turned to look at him. _Now?_ Jared's gaze said.

After a brief hesitation, during which Jeremy felt both Evan’s and Michael’s gaze on them, Jeremy nodded almost imperceptibly.

Jared reached his free hand over and took Jeremy’s chin in his fingers, tilting his head slightly. Before either Michael, Evan, or Jeremy could do anything, Jared acted, swiftly pressing a quick kiss to the side of Jeremy’s lips- not a proper kiss, but from Michael and Evan’s angle, it sure looked like one.

Michael shot to his feet, papers scattering all over the floor and one floating onto Evan’s head. He disregarded them, having only eyes for the ‘couple’ on the ground. “What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?”

Jeremy jolted in surprise, mostly at Michael’s tone. It was vehement, demanding- and it was directed at them. “I-”

Evan got to his feet, only one step slower than Michael. _“Jared?”_ he demanded.

Jared stared at him, for once at a loss for words. They hadn’t planned this part. “Um.”

Michael stepped around their game board, grabbing Jeremy by his arm and pulling him up. Jeremy scrambled to his feet, eyes wide. “I think we need to talk,” Michael growled, half-dragging Jeremy towards the stairs. He knew the house as well as his own.

Jeremy stumbled. “Dude, I can walk.”

Letting go of him, Michael took the stairs two at a time, leaving Jeremy to follow behind. They reached Jeremy’s room, and Michael stalked into it without a word.

“What the fuck was that?” the Filipino demanded as soon as Jeremy closed the door behind them.

“Was _what?”_

“He _kissed_ you!”

“Yeah, I _know_ that,” Jeremy retorted, his brain scrambling for things to say. He couldn’t just straight up confess what he and Jared had planned, but he couldn’t just leave Michael to struggle on his own. “Look, it was- it was fine-”

_“Fine?”_ Michael almost yelled. “Jeremy, he _kissed_ you. _Are_ you two dating? You and Jared? Because if you are, you should just fucking _tell me_ , instead of leaving me to wonder whether or not the boy I’ve spent literal years pining over is now officially out of the game-”

“Wait,” Jeremy cut in, stepping in front of Michael and meeting his best friend’s eyes. “What did you say?”

Michael froze. _What_ did he just say- oh, fuck. “Um,” he said eloquently after a thirty second pause, during which neither of them had budged. “You know, I just remembered that I had this really important thing that I, uh, have to get to. Like, now.”

He tried to head for the door, but Jeremy was in his way, blocking him. “Micah,” he said slowly, a small grin spreading across his face. “Do you like me?”

Michael bit his lip. “Yes.”

“Oh, thank _fuck.”_ Jeremy exhaled, letting out hours of pent up anxiety in one breath. “Thank _fuck_.”

Michael blinked. “What?”

“It was all a bet! Or, a, uh, kind of an agreement?” Jeremy blurted, stumbling over his words. “Um, Jared- he and I are hanging out more, because his parents are homophobic douches who don’t want to- to see him for longer than they have to, and he’s afraid of hanging with Evan because of, um, his crush on him-”

“Jared likes Evan?” Michael cheered internally- not just because that meant that Jared and Jeremy were _definitely_ not going to be an exclusive thing, but also because he’d known about Evan’s hopeless crush on Jared, and was glad that his friend was going to get what he wanted.

If he didn’t rip Jared’s face off first. Evan might’ve looked innocent, but he was brutal if need be.

Michael grimaced.

Jeremy tried to read the rapid-fire changes in emotion on Michael’s face. “Your face is confusing.”

“Thanks.”

“But- but I like it,” Jeremy added hastily.

Michael snorted. “Is this you being a flustered bi? Because I am here for it.”

“I’m really glad that that wasn’t a pun,” Jeremy muttered.

“Fuck, missed opportunity.”

“A- anyway, it was a bet, and Jared was saying how we should fake- fake date each other, and get you two jealous- and that, um, you liked me, so this would just kind of be that extra push? Or something?” Jeremy was rambling at this point, wincing at his own words- the more he talked, the worse it seemed to get.

Michael stared at him silently for a while. Jeremy was starting to worry, when his best friend spoke up again. “So, you like me?”

The question hung in the air between them, and Jeremy swallowed nervously before nodding. “Ye- yeah. A, um, a lot.”

Michael tried to keep from grinning. “How- uh, how long have you… known?”

“That I had a crush on you?” Jeremy paused for a second, thinking. “Um, since sophomore year?”

Michael gaped at him. “An year?”

The blond smiled sheepishly. “Surprise?”

“I could have had a boyf for _an year_ now?” Michael exclaimed, grabbing Jeremy by his shoulders in his excitement. “I’ve had a crush on you for three years, Jere. I thought if I ignored it long enough, it’d go away- but _no_ , it stayed, and it grew stronger, and I swear to fuck that I was going to go insane.”

_“Three years?”_ It was Jeremy’s turn for his jaw to drop to the ground. “Michael!”

Michael shot him a small grin. “Um. I’m gay. Gay for you. Very gay. For you.”

Jeremy grinned back, his hands going to Michael’s forearms, gripping him as tightly as the other was holding him. “I’m bi for you!”

“And thank god for that,” Michael murmured, holding Jeremy’s gaze.

“Michael?” Jeremy squeaked. “Are you okay?”

The Filipino shook his head, as if trying to shake himself out of a daze. He let go of Jeremy, as if he just realized that he was still holding him, turning away slightly. “Sorry. Got distracted.”

“What were you thinking?” Jeremy teased. Then, his tone sobering, “So you’re not mad at me and Jare, are you?”

“I’m absolutely fucking livid at that good-for-nothing, glasses wearing tech geek,” Michael replied, but softened the words with a smile back at Jeremy. “Okay, maybe not. His plan _did_ work. Somewhat.”

Jeremy loosened a large breath of relief. “Thank god,” he breathed. “So, what _were_ you thinking?”

Michael bit his lip. “Um. Can I kiss you?”

Jeremy stared at him for a moment, then broke into a huge grin. “Please do.”

His- no, ‘friend’ couldn’t cover it anymore. Michael was his best friend, who’d stuck with him for twelve years, never giving up on Jeremy even when Jeremy himself had wanted to. Michael was much more than a friend, a best friend, or even a boyfriend, if they were there.

Michael was just… Michael. Michael Mell, Jeremy’s player one.

And Jeremy couldn’t be more thankful for that.

Michael closed the distance between the two of them, and leaned in slowly. Jeremy smiled, tipping his head up slightly, and finally meeting the other’s lips with his own. The kiss was gentle, and yet there were thousands of words exchanged in that one contact, hundreds of memories shared and dozens of promises of future memories to come.

Jeremy closed his eyes, savoring the kiss, and hoped to hell that this wasn’t all just some fever dream. Michael pulled away after a few more seconds, but never looked away from Jeremy.

“You can open your eyes now, Jere,” Michael teased, and Jeremy did.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, but he couldn’t help the smile lingering on his face. “I’ve been waiting to do that all year.”

“I’ve been waiting to do that for way longer,” Michael said, a laughing tone in his words, and leaned forward, catching Jeremy off-guard with another kiss.

Jeremy didn’t object.

-

“Jared, what the actual fucking hell?” Evan practically yelled as soon as Michael and Jeremy disappeared upstairs. He stared down at his best friend, who almost seemed like he was cowering. “Did you really just _kiss_ Jeremy?”

Jared’s mind was blank for a moment, but he quickly snapped back to his senses and scrambled to his feet, almost slipping on a spare die as he stumbled towards Evan. “Ev- it’s… it’s not you think,” he said lamely, knowing that it was the shittiest thing to say.

Evan laughed harshly. “Oh, the classic, ‘it’s not what you think’,” he almost hissed. “Sure, Jared. You couldn’t even tell your best friend that you got a boyfriend. Oh, wait- family friend, right? Are we back there now?”

Jared started to panic. “Evan, please. Of course you’re my best friend. You- You’re more than that to me-”

The other cut him off. “’Of course’, huh? Because it sure didn’t seem like that when you practically _ignored_ me when I came in, and got all snuggly with your new _boyfriend.”_ Evan spat the word like it was bitter in his mouth.

“Ev-”

“If you wanted me to leave, you could have just fucking asked!” Evan grabbed his jacket from where he’d thrown it on the couch earlier, and started to step away from Jared. “You didn’t need to rub the whole ‘I don’t need you’ thing in my face, Jared!”

“Evan Hansen, would you just fucking _listen?”_ Jared’s voice cracked, and Evan hesitated. His friend actually sounded _sincere_ for once. He didn’t say anything, but he did put down his jacket. A silent compromise- which was good enough for Jared.

“I didn’t kiss Jeremy because he’s my boyfriend,” Jared said. “He’s not, in fact. He- we’re not dating. At all. We- no. We’re just friends. I- Yesterday, we were hanging out together, and I came up with this _incredibly_ idiotic plan that, if we were reckless enough, actually had a chance of working.”

Evan stayed quiet. Jared took that as an invitation to keep talking.

“Um, we- we’ve been talking a lot about our crushes,” Jared continued, and saw Evan blanch at the word ‘crush’. “And- and the reason why I couldn’t talk about it to you was, uh, because-”

“Because we’re not close enough,” Evan said flatly, but was cut off by Jared.

“The reason why I couldn’t talk to you about it was because it was _you,_ Evan!” Jared shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. “You! It’s _always_ been you, Evan Hansen. I’ve been in love with you since- I don’t even fucking know, freshman year? Younger? Middle school? I don’t know, but it doesn’t fucking matter, since you’d never date _me-”_

Evan tried to intercede, but Jared was on a roll. “ _Me_ , out of everyone else. Jared Kleinman, the fuck-up, the guy who always says the wrong thing at the wrong time, who doesn’t fucking deserve anything. And there’s you, who’s… fuck, Ev. You’re fucking perfect. Of- of course I fell in love with you, and stayed that way for three years, you unbelievably fucking oblivious-”

“Three years?” Evan’s head was spinning. He decided to sit down before he face-planted into their Dungeons and Dragons notes.

Jared exhaled through his nose, sitting down next to Evan. He figured it was probably his last time being in such close proximity to Evan, whose friendship with him had possibly just been royally fucked by Jared’s blurted confessions. He simply said, “Yes.”

“Three years?” Evan repeated. “Do you mean that?”

“It was a bet with Jeremy,” Jared said, not answering Evan’s question. Yet. “More like a… spontaneous, stupid plan made up on the spot. You guys weren’t… reacting enough, so he pulled me aside and was starting to panic. I- I said that…”

Evan waited patiently.

Jared sighed. “I said that I could kiss him, in front of you two, to, um, maybe make it more- more effective? And he agreed. So, uh, I did?”

Evan waited some more. “Okay?”

“Damnit, Evan, I’m _hopelessly_ in love with you,” Jared blurted. “I just got desperate, and Jeremy was in the same situation I was stuck in. He’s after Michael, and there’s no doubt that they’re probably getting each other off upstairs right now. I- It’s always been you for me, Ev.”

Evan stared at him. Jared shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I’ve said too much, and I shall leave now, for I fear the awkwardness,” he announced, standing up.

Before he could move another inch, Evan’s hand shot up and pulled him back down into a seating position. “Yo- you’re not leaving this room till I get things straight,” Evan stammered. “You like me _back_?”

“Yeah, I-” Jared paused. “Wait. _Back?”_

Evan froze. _Fuck_. “Did- did I say that?”

Jared started to grin. “You _did_. You said I like you _back_.”

“N- no,” Evan tried to protest. Jared put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, and met his gaze.

“Evan,” he started to say. “Do you like _me?”_

Evan paused. “Ye- yes.”

Jared stared at him for a second, then jumped up and let out a triumphant yell. “Fuck _yeah!”_

“Jared,” Evan whined. “I thought I was stupidly obvious!”

“I thought _I_ was stupidly obvious!”

“Well- you weren’t!”

“I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you out for half a year,” Evan admitted.

“I’ve been trying to get you to notice my asking you out for a year and a half,” Jared said. “You kept misinterpreting them as just hanging out, as in dudes being dudes.”

“I- what was I supposed to expect?” Evan defended. “ _Jared Kleinman_ actually asking me out? Sounds more like a dream than reality, if you ask me.”

“Damn,” Jared groaned, rubbing a hand across his face and laughing. He sank back down onto the couch, still chuckling to himself. “We’re idiots, aren’t we?”

“Maybe a bit,” Evan agreed, laughing slightly.

Jared calmed down more after a while, and the two of them sat in peaceful, content quiet. It was way better than the tense silence Jared had been expecting.

After a while, Jared got a bit antsy- he needed to do something, _say_ something, to prove that this was all real, that Evan Hansen actually _liked him back-_ “Is it too late to kiss you now?” he blurted.

Evan looked up at him, and for a second, Jared thought he’d fucked it up. Then-

“I sure hope not,” Evan whispered, and then Jared was leaning in, and their lips were meeting, and fucking hell, they were _kissing_ , a thing that Jared hadn’t even dared to fucking dream of a few months earlier, and now it was actually happening- and it was better than anything his imagination could’ve conjured up.

Evan’s mouth, soft and hesitant on his- Jared bit down gently on the other’s bottom lip and Evan inhaled sharply. They pulled away after a few seconds, both their eyes wide.

“Please don’t tell me this is a dream,” Evan breathed.

Jared smiled at him, as tentative as Evan’s kiss had been. “I sure hope not,” he said, repeating Evan’s earlier words and tone.

Evan smiled back. “You nerd.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Hansen.”

-

_blond bi: yo jare_

_insanelygay: sup jere_

_blond bi: just wanted to say that i may have had my doubts about your, uh, plan at first_

_blond bi: but it worked out so_

_blond bi: yeah_

_insanelygay: is there something you wanna say to me, heere?_

_blond bi: douche_

_blond bi: i mean_

_blond bi: Thanks, Jared_

_blond bi: now we’ve both landed our dream dudes_

_blond bi: and i got pizza so_

_blond bi: Thank you_

_insanely gay: you’re welcome, Jeremy. yes, i’m a gay love god, why thank you for noticing, Jeremy_

_blond bi: i am fairly sure that i never said anything even remotely along those lines_

_insanelygay: but you’ve thought it_

_blond bi: i’m going to bed_

_insanelygay: we should do double dates. imagine the footsie wars_

_blond bi: good night, jared_

**Author's Note:**

> ... roll for gay
> 
> p.s. yeah this was originally named Alone Together after a Fall Out Boy binge but i decided to save that name for another fic ajsjdaksk


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